Some page of figures to be filed away; - Till elevators drop us from our day
My dream to have a baby of my own is safely filed away in my unconscious and is triggered whenever I see other infants or animal infants. Upon discovering that I cannot have a baby, I experience a spectrum of emotions, including grief, sadness, and a sense of loss. The dream of becoming a parent is a deeply ingrained aspiration for me, and the realisation that this dream may never be realised is heart-wrenching. This sense of loss is akin to mourning, where I grieve not only for the child, I will not have but also for the life and future I envisioned. Grief over infertility due to my medicine intake manifest in various ways, including feelings of inadequacy, failure, and frustration. I question my own worth and feel as though I have let down my partner. These feelings are compounded by societal pressures and expectations, which often idealise parenthood and place value on reproductive success.